There is a city in Oregon named Boring.
I had to think about that. Was it named after a family? Was it a description of life as they knew it. I considered that I would enjoy my son working for the Boring Police Department. It sounds safe and not too stressful. On the other hand, I wouldn’t want to attend the Boring Church or, for that matter, the Boring Bar.
We have all been bored at some point. It is a reality that affects our executive experience.
In a recent cio.com article, John Edwards wrote about the 7 Ways To Breathe New Life Into Your IT Leadership Career.
It’s a good article. I’m not writing to bash it. His points are helpful, and fall into two main categories:
- Do something different
- Change roles
- Join a faculty
- Mentor
- Launch an outreach program
- Launch a citizen developer initiative
- Draw from others
- Network with colleagues
- Seek professional support (like a coach)
Again, I have no issues with any of those, and I especially advocate for the network (check out www.ciomastermind.com)! Also, you know my passion for leaders having an advocate, also an offering of CIO Mastermind.
But There Is Something Missing
Likely for the sake of limited space, John couldn’t address the prerequisite to doing something different or drawing from others to resolve boredom.
Before you ever seek a solution to boredom, you need to pinpoint what is behind the boredom.
And what is behind the boredom is inside of you.
If you seek to address boredom by external options, without having investigated the internal reason for your boredom, you will adopt a temporary solution in which eventually you will find yourself…bored.
I often teach in various disciplines that each of us is comprised of three amazing dynamics:
- Identity
- Capacity
- Destiny
Identity
From the moment you were born, people began to shape you. You have been molded at large by societal systems, education, religion, media, etc. Closer to home, you were raised with ideas and ways of doing things - a family system. Closest to home, you have a self.
That self is both false and true. As one of my friends, Rainier Whylde, says, “Every decision you make, every action you undertake, is a product of conditioning - of which you are mostly unaware.”
Or, to quote Oscar Wilde, “Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” Oscar was either in a bad mood or spot on, I will let you decide.
The way I describe it, when I meet a leader who has yet to distinguish him or herself from others, is “They haven’t found their own vocabulary.” I don’t trust leaders who parrot.
Identity has two components: that which is the same and that which is apart. The Latin root for identity refers to what you are the same as. Human, IT Leader, Trekkie. It is what you identify with.
But identity is also defined by what sets you apart. You are not the same as another IT leader. You have unique gifts and drives.
Mostly, people define their identity by what comes from outside of them: family expectations, roles, titles, labels, diagnoses and such. I look at you and say, “You are a CIO.” I may even add an adjective, like “great CIO!”
Not all labels are positive. Some people think of you as “just a.” Just, in that context, is a horrible and demeaning description.
But our identity does not come from outside of us. You had an identity before you were ever born. And before is an important word. Your identity is who you are “before” anyone ever got a hold of you.
Before we jump into a philosophical ocean, let’s pull back and make a simple declaration: Your identity is defined by you expressing yourself, not by you accepting what others say of yourself.
You don’t find meaning. You bring meaning. You are not defined. You define.
Back to boring.
It is likely you are bored because you as a superhero have been shrunk to an action figure (Rainier again).
“It’s as if from an early age there is always someone pointing to a ladder and telling us to climb…And some of us, we got really good at climbing ladders…(but) Is this ladder even leaning up against the right building?” (Rob Bell)
Reduced. Misplaced.
The first reality behind boredom is that you are no longer the artistic expression you long to be; you do not have the freedom of true expression.
Or ....maybe you do have the freedom, but you allowed yourself to fade into the shadows of conformity. Perhaps, people around you are desperate for you to be you.
Capacity
You are meant to affect things.
Every human is designed to do so, and every leader has a hypersensitivity to it.
There is within you usefulness. We despise the thought of not being useful; I will avoid doing anything in which I am not only not useful but potentially of no good use (like auto repair).
With capacity comes the ability to expand capacity. We must grow. It is the opposite of being reduced by others; we must push toward fullness. That is always the journey of our identity, the quest to be fully us.
Capacity is what we do with what we’ve got.
Boredom sets in when we feel that we are no longer affecting something, we are no longer growing, and we don’t get to do what we know we can do that is burning inside of us to do.
I’ve been bored, and in my boredom, have been tempted to jump ship. As a matter of fact, I have. But then a friend said something to me. “Never quit in the middle.” What sage advice.
Few of us enjoy the middle. We love the vision and the launch, we love the completion and the celebration. That middle though is taxing. Systems are running, routines are working, checkmarks are being checked, and it seems so common.
Leaders need to recognize that the middle is something they have affected, is the benefit of prior growth, and is the doing of what you got. In itself, it seeds what will be next, but not if we prematurely rush to the next.
In contrast, it may just be that you have maxed out the opportunity your current situation presents. Your capacity exceeds the opportunity.
Destiny
Destiny is a weird concept. I hear sports teams talk about how the championship is their destiny, how everything has come together - and then they lose. Or we say of a person, “That was their destiny.” Maybe. Or maybe they were just in a certain place and time. Maybe their destiny was something else, and people pushed them away from it.
Yet, you have one. I frame it this way: You are being prepared for someone and something, and someone and something is being prepared for you. Destiny is the crossroads of the two.
In which case, destiny is a path you walk more than a place you arrive.
Boredom sets in when you sense you are no longer being prepared. Identity demands fullness, and capacity demands realization.
Destiny also has a mystery to it. Who else will I encounter? What else is on the way? Boredom is fear that the rut is a grave without the dirt on top.
Putting It All Together
If you are bored, you might need to do something different or you might need to draw from others.
But before you do anything, you need to make sure it will be the right thing, and you need to assess if you are in the middle or at the end.
- Is your true self able to be expressed? If not, boredom is a safer state than frustration, but you are frustrated and afraid to admit it. If you are in the middle, find new ways to bring meaning. Look for the holes and fill them.
- Are you still able to affect someone or something?
- Do you maintain a sense of being prepared for something more?
The answer to these questions will lead you to the right solution, whether it is to leave, stay or add elements to your career.
If the answer is that you need a peer network or a coach, hit me up here link CIO Mastermind is four years old and growing!
If you don’t know the answer, reach out to me. We are happy to come alongside you and help.
